Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Second Draft

Transcriptions Animatic - First Draft from Karl Lawson on Vimeo.

Transcriptions Animatic - Second Draft from Karl Lawson on Vimeo.

I'm just going to run through the main changes I made to the film, and explain why I thought they were necessary. Please feel free to comment if you agree with them or if you think they don't work as well.

Opening Scene:

The opening shot is a close-up pan across the floor towards where the boy is. Firstly, I added this to act as an establishing shot. My second reason for it is to set up later story. I want to give the impression that the boy has smashed up his piggy bank and bought crisps, sweets, fizzy drinks etc. with his allowance, and now there's nothing left (except his pile of mess) I wanted this to also show the character's greed in terms of the amount of food he is snacking on.

Fridge Scene:

From an aesthetic perspective, I like this shot as it is quite common practice in film and television. The majority of the shot stays the same, but he now hears the ice cream van from the kitchen rather than sulking back in the living room. This is a time saving device but I think it's also valid in the sense that you get the faster change of reaction. I think that ties in again with his impulsive character traits.

Window Scene:

Initially the boy runs up to the window, excitedly and checks his pockets for money. Then having realised the has already spent it, he walks away forlorn. When I showed this at the National Gallery, they said that him being broke didn't come across clearly enough. It was suggested that I use the classic cartoon cliche of him emptying his pockets. I felt that it would read better, but personally I dislike it.

Instead, I had the character remember in his own mind that he spent all his money, and aim to show this through his facial expression. I also added the shot of the broken piggy bank again to reinforce that to the audience. It is after this disappointment that the boy sees the wallet, and hopefully this makes him look more conniving that before, where he was trudging away from the window and then saw the wallet.

(Baldrick's Cunning Plan)

The End scene:

This is where the two animatics differ the most. I wanted the shots in the new animatic, of the boy gradually feeling ill to give a sense of foreboding. The idea that the dad offers him an ice cream as a treat, unwittingly this is a huge punishment, and the idea of it is what tips the boy over the edge (and leaves a mess on the carpet). I also believe that this way the focus is fully on the boy where as before the father was a bit more active, in getting up and finding his son in the bathroom. It just seemed a bit forced, and the audience didn't see the child gradually feeling worse either.

I'll probably update this again with more info, but I've got to get back to the designing. Ideally all sorted by the end of the day, after speaking to my mentor, Wesley Louis.

Thanks for reading, and leave comments below.

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